


all the little things

by broduce



Series: you + me; us [1]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, because panwink deserves more 10K+ oneshots, everyone is a good friend except woojin and jaehwan, top 20 all briefly mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 11:48:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12320496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broduce/pseuds/broduce
Summary: In which Jihoon wonders what it means for him to know every single little thing about Guanlin.Or: Jihoon and Guanlin act like a domestic couple and Jihoon is oblivious.





	all the little things

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know that up until now there was only a single Panwink oneshot over 10K words? I would know, since I practically live in the Panwink tag, ha. 
> 
> My babies deserve better than that.

 

Jihoon ducks into the dimly lit cafe, blinking as his eyes adjust to his surroundings. The familiar and strong scent of freshly brewed coffee tingles his nose, and he inhales deeply before making his way towards the counter.

"Hey Jihoon hyung." Jinyoung greets him with tired eyes and a matching tired smile, his usual dark circles even more pronounced and prominent. Jihoon thinks it's ironic that Jinyoung works in a coffee shop but is easily the most exhausted person in the entire vicinity.

"Hi Jinyoung. Long day?"

Jinyoung hums in response. "As usual. What can I get for you?"

Jihoon lets his eyes wander over to the menu, even though months of frequenting the shop has made him as much of an expert in the items listed as Jinyoung. And years of religiously drinking coffee has made him very particular about his brew.

"I'll have a double espresso, with a splash of 2% milk and light ice, please. No sugar."

"Long day ahead?" Jinyoung asks as he enters the order.

Jihoon nods, his fingers tapping on the counter. "Oh, and also, a hot caramel macchiato with two extra shots, skim milk, extra-whip, extra-caramel. And extra hot, please."

Jinyoung raises an eyebrow. "That's a lot of caffeine," he notes before adding, "and a lot of sugar."

Jihoon snorts. "Not for me. Guanlin likes his coffee extra caffeinated and extra sweet. He's weird like that."

Jinyoung's eyebrow raises even higher, and Jihoon catches the smile that the barista tries—and fails—to hide.

"What?" He asks, curious to the change in expression.

"Nothing," Jinyoung answers, the smile still there. "It's cute."

"What is?" Jihoon asks, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to decipher Jinyoung's cryptic words.

"That you know Guanlin's coffee order," Jinyoung says casually as he moves towards the coffee maker.

"What do you mean?" Jihoon is infinitely confused, and leans over the counter as much as he can to tune out the slow buzz of chatter behind him and to hear Jinyoung's response.

Jinyoung shrugs, reaching for the milk. "It's the telltale sign, you know? Since it's so personal and unique."

"Telltale sign? Sign of what, Jinyoung?" Jihoon asks, frustrated as he watches Jinyoung finish up Guanlin's macchiato.

Jinyoung only flashes him a knowing smile before handing him the two cups. "Shoo, I need to get back to work."

Jihoon contemplates staying and pestering Jinyoung until he explains, but an impatient cough from behind him forces him to grab the two coffees and leave, muttering a quick _see you later_ to a still grinning Jinyoung.

As Jihoon steps out of the coffee shop, he brings a hand up to his face, shielding himself from the blinding afternoon sunlight, even though it was still chilly. He squints up at the sky, not minding the people rushing past him, as he ponders Jinyoung's words.

A telltale sign...

Jihoon sighs.

 

* * *

 

"I'm back," Jihoon mutters as soon as he crosses the threshold of his apartment.

He finds himself listening for and expecting the soft padding of feet, his eyes already seeking a familiar figure.

"Welcome back, hyung," Guanlin greets him, eyes bright, and only then does Jihoon take off his shoes and enter their shared dorm.

"Here, I got you a caramel macchiato," Jihoon says, walking over to Guanlin and handing him the drink. "I ordered it extra hot so it should still be warm."

Guanlin smiles brightly, taking the drink from Jihoon's hand, as well as the backpack hanging off his shoulder. Jihoon lets the backpack slide off easily, rolling his shoulders and craning his neck to stretch out his tired muscles.

"How was your day?" Guanlin asks, taking a sip of the coffee, and Jihoon watches as the boy sighs in contentment.

Guanlin sets himself and the backpack down on the couch, before motioning for Jihoon to come nearer. When he approaches, Guanlin reaches for his hand, pulling him down to sit on the carpet. Before Jihoon can protest, however, he feels cool hands on his shoulders, tenderly massaging.

Jihoon closes his eyes and hums in gratitude. "It was all right..."

Guanlin's hands move in a constant circular motion, and Jihoon rests his head on the couch seat, letting Guanlin's steady breathing and familiar hands relax all of his knots and worries. He hooks one of his fingers onto Guanlin's pant leg, stroking the fabric softly in a motion to match Guanlin's massaging.

"Hey hyung," Guanlin calls softly, his breath so close that Jihoon shivers a little.

"Yeah?"

"I scheduled us a doctor's appointment for next Monday, make sure you're free that day okay?"

Jihoon nods, already knowing he'll forget by the next day.

"I also added it to your calendar," Guanlin adds, as if reading his mind.

Jihoon feels the corners of his lips quirk up, and he reaches up to squeeze Guanlin's hand on his shoulder. The younger stops massaging, and for a moment, the duo sit in silence, the only action disturbing the peace being Jihoon's thumb rubbing circles on Guanlin's hand.

Jihoon suddenly stops, his eyes narrowing and the previous relaxed expression on his face replaced by a dazed one.

"Hyung?" Guanlin murmurs, confused by the sudden change.

Telltale sign...

Jinyoung's words suddenly appear in Jihoon's mind as his fingers stop their motion.

It was normal for them to schedule doctor appointments together right? Just like it was normal for Jihoon to know Guanlin's coffee order by heart. Normal, right?

"What's wrong?"

Guanlin is so close that Jihoon is sure that if he turned his head, he would find those forever shining eyes and chapped cherry red lips right in front of him. He forces himself to look straight ahead.

Jihoon sighs. "Nothing, Guanlin, nothing."

 

* * *

 

Jihoon wakes up with a headache and a million questions. He shakes them all off though, before heading to the bathroom to hopefully perk up.

Passing by the kitchen, he finds a note on the fridge, scribbled quickly in Guanlin's familiar scrawny handwritting.

_Hyung, breakfast's in the pan._

There's a scrawled drawing of a pan, with some sort of food item in it, as well as a speech bubble that says "Eat me, Jihoon hyung, eat me!"

Jihoon stares at the note, an unconscious smile already ghosting his lips. He checks the pan — some leftover fried rice from yesterday's lunch. It's still warm, and Jihoon glances at the clock — 10AM, meaning that Guanlin had left for his speech class a little over a half hour ago.

He briefly wonders if it's normal that he knows Guanlin's exact class schedule, but pushes the thought aside quickly when his phone rings.

"Guanlin," Jihoon greets in lieu of a proper hello.

"Hyung, have you eaten yet?" Guanlin's deep voice fills up Jihoon's ear.

"Not yet, I just got up. Are you on your way to business management?"

"Yeah."  
  
Silence fills both ends of the conversation, but it's a comfortable and familiar one. Jihoon listens to Guanlin's breathing as he props his phone between his ear and shoulder so that he can grab a spatula to eat the fried rice out of the pan.

He starts to wonder when it became routine for them to call each other in between classes.

"Hyung?"

"Mhm."

"We don't have much food left in the fridge. Let's go grocery shopping later?"

Jihoon chews on his rice but before he can say anything, Guanlin continues.

"I just ran into Daniel hyung and Seongwoo hyung. Your dance practice tonight got cancelled. Something about them needing a date night or something. So your schedule should be cleared up."

"Oh?" Jihoon murmurs, wondering why the captains of his dance team didn't simply text him the news.

"Grocery shopping?" Guanlin prompts, when Jihoon again falls silent.

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go," Jihoon responds, stuffing the last of the fried rice into his mouth.

"I'll pick you up at the gate after your composition class. We're still grabbing lunch with Dongho hyung and Minki hyung today right? Oh, and don't leave the spatula in the frying pan! Put them both in the sink. See you later!"

Guanlin hangs up, leaving Jihoon to peek at the frying pan, where a certain used wooden spatula indeed lay in the empty pan.

It was normal for Guanlin to know all of his little habits, right?

Jihoon shakes his head, picking up the spatula and the pan and setting them into the sink.

He takes a last look at the scribbled note on the fridge, pausing, before he removes it from the magnet and pockets it into his wallet, where another half dozen colorful post-it notes are sticking out.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon follows the crowd of students after class, stopping just before entering the cafeteria, his eyes already searching for today's menu.

He looks up when he feels an arm around his shoulders, and sees Guanlin looking down at him.

"What's for lunch?" Guanlin asks, steering them both towards the door.

"Fried chicken," Jihoon answers, already anticipating Guanlin's answer.

Indeed, the smile Guanlin gives him makes him laugh. "My favorite!"

They spot Dongho and Minki sitting at their usual table, both of them waving the duo over enthusiastically.

Dongho had been Guanlin's assigned senior mentor as a freshman while Minki had been Jihoon's, and both teams formed lasting friendships even after the year had been over. It just so happened that Dongho and Minki were best friends as well, so Jihoon and Guanlin often met up with them for lunch just to catch up.

"Go grab lunch, we'll save these seats for you," Minki tells them warmly, getting up to give both of them a hug.

Dongho, not the touchy feely type, offers them a smile and a pat on the back.

Jihoon and Guanlin return five minutes later, fried chicken on trays in front of them. Jihoon looks up at Guanlin, who is smiling wider, no doubt due to the chicken. Jihoon thinks it's absolutely adorable.

"Have you heard about Yongguk and Kenta starting a new club?" Dongho asks as soon as Jihoon and Guanlin reach them. "I think it's like a gathering for foreigners. You should check it out, Guanlin."

"Oh? Yeah, I will. Thanks hyung," Guanlin says, giving Dongho a smile.

"Jihoon, tell Jinyoung to contact me, will you? He's terrible at keeping in touch even though I practically raised him!" Minki says dramatically, a hand over his forehead in feigned horror at Jinyoung's deception.

Jihoon rolls his eyes as Guanlin chuckles. "You were his senior mentor for a year, hyung. That hardly counts as raising him."

Minki huffs indignantly, Dongho patting his back.

A second later, Minki launches into an exaggerated story about an incident involving Jonghyun and Minhyun and Jihoon can barely keep up, so he knows that Guanlin probably tuned out a while ago. Still, he nods and laughs when Jihoon and Dongho do, and he does such a good job that he could fool anyone. Well, anyone except Jihoon, who notes the faraway look in his eyes as well as the furrowed eyebrows.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jihoon sees Guanlin reach for his strawberry milk. Jihoon pushes it towards him, nodding along to Minki's story and smiling back at Guanlin when Guanlin receives the drink and offers a smile in thanks. He watches as Guanlin takes a sip before handing it back to Jihoon, both still listening to Minki. Jihoon catches the slight pause as Minki assesses the situation, as well as Dongho's raised eyebrow.

"Hey Guanlin, Minki's gonna talk his throat dry. Would you mind going to grab him a water?" Dongho asks, and Jihoon has an idea of where this is going.

As soon as Guanlin leaves the table, Minki rounds on him, eyes wide and bright.

"So?"

Jihoon fidgets in his seat. "So what?"

"Guanlin just drank out of your bottle. As if it was nothing." Minki is exasperated, Jihoon can tell by his facial expressions and hand movements.

"It _is_ nothing," Jihoon mutters in reply, taking a sip of said bottle.

Minki eyes him as he does, spluttering, "But that's like an indirect kiss!"

Jihoon nearly spits out his drink. Dongho quickly reaches out to pat him on the back, but Jihoon sees him hiding a laugh.

"A—what?"

"An indirect kiss!" Minki is getting worked up, which is somehow getting Jihoon worked up, and Jihoon wills his heart to stop pounding.

Before he can come up with a response, however, Guanlin returns.

"Guess who I found?" Guanlin asks, oblivious to the strange atmosphere surrounding the table he left a few minutes ago.

"Jonghyun hyung! Come sit," Jihoon quickly greets, patting the seat besides him.

Jonghyun laughs uncertainly, Dongho snickers, and Minki sends him a look that clearly means we'll talk about this later.

Jihoon groans, which doesn't go unnoticed by Guanlin.

"You okay?" Guanlin whispers as he slides back into his seat.

Jihoon nods, not trusting his voice to answer, especially when Guanlin's hand comes up to pat him on the shoulder.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon shuffles to the front gate of the university, suppressing a yawn. The professor, usually a stickler to time, actually let them out a couple of minutes earlier today. When he doesn't spot Guanlin's tall figure, he takes a seat on a nearby bench.

_I'll just wait for him here_ , he thinks, seconds before his eyes flutter closed against his will.

When he comes to again, he jolts up, smacking his head onto something—a palm?—right above him.

"The hell—" he mutters, his hand instinctively coming up to nurse his hurt head, but he finds that there is already a hand there doing that for him.

His eyes jerk up to meet amused ones, but he relaxes under the familiar gaze.

"What were you doing?" Jihoon mutters, leaning into Guanlin's touch.

"Shielding the sun for you," Guanlin answers easily, amusement still lighting his eyes as he places comforting pats on Jihoon's head.

"Let's go?" Jihoon asks, his hand reaching up to come to a rest on top of Guanlin's, effectively stopping the ministrations.

Guanlin nods, picking up Jihoon's backpack off the bench and easily slinging it over his shoulder.

Jihoon follows the taller male to their car, an old Toyota that has seen better days and less scratches, but which had to do for two broke college students. Officially, the car was Jihoon's, bought with the money won from his first dance competition. Unofficially, Guanlin used it more because apparently, Jihoon was an atrocious driver who gave his passengers (read: Guanlin) extreme motion sickness any time he was behind the wheel.

Jihoon watches as Guanlin puts a hand on the back of the passenger seat and shifts his body slightly to back out of the parking space. The scrunch of concentration between his eyebrows is evident as he pulls out, and Jihoon fights an urge to reach over and smooth it out.

"Hey Guanlin?" Jihoon asks when they are speeding down the highway, the tune of an old Korean ballad playing in the background.

Guanlin glances at him from the driver's seat.

Jihoon shifts in his seat, his fingers playing with the holes in his distressed jeans.

"Do you know my coffee order?" Jihoon asks quickly, a soft blush creeping onto his cheeks.

Jihoon hears the pause and can't help but peek a glance at Guanlin from the corner of his eyes.

"Coffee order? Hot or cold?" Guanlin questions, his gaze on the road in front of him, fingers tapping to the melody of the song.

When Jihoon doesn't answer, Guanlin continues, "If it's cold, you usually get a double espresso. No sugar, but with a little bit of milk. Oh, and a little bit of ice, too. If it's hot...probably just a medium roast, no cream, no sugar. You like your hot coffee strong."

Jihoon lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, his heart beating faster than he remembered it a few minutes ago. He rests his cheek against the cool window, even as his head bumps up and down slightly due to the car's vibrations, to soothe his warm cheeks. He keeps his eyes on the road, even when he feels Guanlin studying him.

"Why?"

"Just wondering," Jihoon answers, his voice small, his fingers fidgeting in his lap.

Normal...right?

Jihoon himself hadn't even realized that his coffee order changed with the weather.

 

* * *

 

They had a system when it came to grocery shopping: Jihoon pushed the cart, while Guanlin searched for food. It made sense, really, since Guanlin was the one who cooked most of the time.

"What do you want to eat tonight?" Guanlin asks, his eyes already roaming around the supermarket.

Jihoon shrugs. "Anything is fine with me."

Guanlin nods absentmindedly, and Jihoon sees that he is already planning out the entire week's meals. He hides a smile as he follows the excited boy.

"Hyung, I'm going to buy some meat," Guanlin informs him, turning around and meeting Jihoon's eyes.

"I'll come with you," Jihoon says.

Guanlin gives him a pointed look. "Stay here. I know you don't like the smell of the fish next to the meat."

Jihoon flushes, remembering the time he had nearly passed out at the store after inhaling the scent of the cut open raw fish on display. Guanlin had to almost carry him out of the store, forgetting all about their groceries. They had to resort to eating ramen that entire week.

"It was just once," Jihoon grumbles, his cheeks still warm from the memory.

"I don't want to risk you getting sick again," Guanlin tells him.

Guanlin extends an arm to give him a reassuring pat on the head and a bright smile before making his way towards the back of the store, weaving between aisles and other customers, knowing the placement of everything in the store like the back of his hand.

Jihoon parks the half-full cart in a somewhat abandoned aisle, leaning onto it with his arms as he settled himself to wait for Guanlin to return.

He spaces out, thinking about the incident a few months ago.

It was a normal grocery run for the two roommates, with Guanlin running around the entire store, grabbing necessary ingredients for the week's meals while Jihoon trailed behind with the cart. Jihoon had been extra tired that day, having stayed up late the night before studying for his history exam.

"Let's get some meat?" Guanlin had suggested, peeking over some spinach leaves to peer at Jihoon.

Jihoon had nodded, too fatigued to say anything. That was usually Jihoon's cue to go to the snacks section, since he had no interest in mulling over slabs of meat that all looked the same to him.

That day, however, he had been too tired to push the cart over to the snacks aisle, so instead, he followed Guanlin to the meat section.

As they were walking, Jihoon had felt his stomach lurch, and his mouth automatically opened to dry heave. For a moment, he was glad he hadn't had time to grab lunch that day. He didn't have to see the meat to know that they had arrived; the sharp pain in his head was enough of a sign.

"Hyung?" Jihoon could hear Guanlin's concerned voice, but it sounded far away. "Hyung? Hyung!"

Jihoon had tried to focus on the reassuring sound of Guanlin's voice, but he found that hard to do with his head spinning. He had taken a breath, ready to tell Guanlin that he was alright, but that had been a bad idea since the moment he inhaled, he caught a whiff of the pungent smell piercing the air and nearly passed out right then.

As it was, he stumbled a bit, only regaining balance when Guanlin caught him, one arm tight on Jihoon's arm and the other extended to grab the cart before it could crash into an aisle.

"Are you okay?" Guanlin's voice had been urgent with barely concealed concern, but Jihoon could tell the younger was trying to keep the fear out of his voice, probably for his sake.

"Guanlin..." Jihoon's voice was weak, and he lifted his gaze up to meet Guanlin's.

That was all it had taken for Guanlin to carefully put his arm around Jihoon's waist, bringing him flush against his side. Jihoon remembered putting a limp arm around Guanlin's shoulder and letting himself get pulled out of the store, his head nestled into Guanlin's neck as he closed his eyes.

In the present, Jihoon shudders out of the memory just in time to see Guanlin making his way back to him, a clear plastic bag of red meat in each hand. Jihoon keeps his focus on Guanlin, knowing that if he examined the bags too closely, he would risk feeling nauseous again.

"I'm back," Guanlin says happily when he reaches Jihoon.

"You're back," Jihoon repeats, letting Guanlin take the cart from his hands.

Jihoon stays a few steps behind Guanlin, his eyes boring holes into Guanlin's back, and he thinks that he really liked the feel of Guanlin's arm around him.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon lies in bed that night, thoughts preoccupied, as he tosses and turns under his covers. He sighs, giving up as he opens his eyes to stare at his blank ceiling.

It's raining outside, and he takes comfort in the sound of the falling rain hitting his window.

Jihoon has always liked the sound of the rain. It forms a melody in his head, one that brought back memories of late night hot chocolate in pajamas and endless hugs from his mother.

There's a flash of light, and a second later, the first crack of thunder sounds. Jihoon marvels at the crisp sound before wondering briefly if Guanlin had remembered to park the car in the apartment building's parking deck.

Guanlin.

Jihoon jumps out of bed, flinging his covers away, and runs out of his room.

He reaches Guanlin's room five seconds later, pressing his ear to the door. When he hears a soft whimper from inside, he doesn't hesitate to grab the doorknob and let himself in.

"Guanlin?" Jihoon whispers, squinting his eyes to try to find Guanlin's figure in the dark of the night.

"Here, hyung," Guanlin whispers back, and Jihoon traces the voice to the back of the room.

He finds Guanlin hidden under a blanket, his knees brought tight against his chest and his eyes shut tight.

There's another clap of thunder, and Guanlin positively shudders at the sound. Jihoon surges forward, sliding to a sitting position beside Guanlin, and puts an arm around the boy.

Guanlin lays his head against Jihoon's shoulder and Jihoon can feel the sweat forming on Guanlin's forehead. He brings a hand up to gently pat Guanlin's head.

"You're all right," he murmurs into Guanlin's hair, and he feels Guanlin's arms come up to snake around his waist.

It is rare times like these that Jihoon remembers Guanlin is younger than him and more vulnerable. He cherishes the feeling of Guanlin's arms around him and Guanlin's head on his shoulder because he knows that these moments are hard to come by. Guanlin was normally so tall and vibrant, so mature and reliable, that people, even Jihoon, sometimes forget that he needs to be taken cared of too.

"I hate thunder," Guanlin whimpers against Jihoon's neck, and Jihoon feels an involuntary shiver run through his body.

"I know," he says simply, hands soothing Guanlin's back.

They sit in silence for a bit, both listening to the sound of heavy rain mixed with the occasional flash of light and clap of thunder. Each time, Jihoon squeezes Guanlin just a little bit closer to him.

"Stay with me?" Guanlin whispers.

"You know I will," comes Jihoon's easy reply.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Jihoon stumbles into the bathroom sleepily, reaching for the tube of toothpaste and his toothbrush with half hooded eyes. Why had he thought it would be a good idea to sign up for 8AM sociology with a professor who lectured in monotone and who took roll every class? Stupid decisions by stupid Park Jihoon.

Jihoon is in the middle of brushing his teeth when Guanlin shuffles into the bathroom, without preamble, without knock.

Jihoon hardly blinks at the intrusion.

"G'morning hyung," Guanlin sleepily greets, reaching around Jihoon to grab his own toothbrush sitting on the counter.

Jihoon nods in acknowledgment, too drowsy to form coherent words and too clumsy to not drop toothpaste all over himself if he opened his mouth.

He lifts his eyes up in the mirror and meets Guanlin's sleepy eyes. Guanlin gives him a smile as he takes his toothbrush and moves to go sit on the lid of the toilet to brush his teeth.

Jihoon continues observing the boy. He sees how Guanlin's hair sticks up slightly from sleep, how his eyes droop slightly as he fights off drowsiness, how his toothbrush hangs out of his mouth as his hand lifts his shirt up just slightly to scratch his stomach.

Jihoon tears his eyes away from Guanlin, swirling water in his mouth before spitting it out.

His face feels warm so he turns on the faucet, splashing cold water onto it. It feels nice, Jihoon thinks.

Why was it that Jihoon could continue to see Guanlin's smile even with his eyes closed?

"Hyung?"

Jihoon lifts his face up, water dripping off. Guanlin had moved off the toilet seat, and their eyes meet in the mirror again. Jihoon turns off the faucet, reaching for a towel, only to see Guanlin handing one to him with a small smile.

"Thanks," Jihoon murmurs, face feeling hot again.

"You feeling all right, hyung?" Guanlin asks as he raises a hand, reaching for Jihoon's forehead.

Jihoon feels his heart pick up when Guanlin's cool hand makes contact with his warm skin, and he fights an urge to close his eyes and lean into the touch. Instead, he quickly ducks out of Guanlin's reach and sees Guanlin's hand drop to his side.

Jihoon moves towards the door of the bathroom. "I'm fine." He takes a shaky breath. "I'll see you later."

Jihoon leaves, skin tingling where Guanlin's hand touched him.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon meets Daehwi and Woojin for lunch that day.

He's running late, as usual. But he takes his time on the way anyways, knowing that his friends will forgive him.

"You're late," Woojin states as soon as Jihoon bursts into the deli shop.

Jihoon only waves him off as he returns Daehwi's smile.

"Did you guys order?" Jihoon asks, taking a seat and catching his breath.

"Yeah. But we didn't know what you liked, so we didn't order for you," Daehwi says.

Jihoon nods, but all he could think about was that _Guanlin would like the tuna salad sub, but he wouldn't get it because he knew Jihoon hated the smell of tuna. So he would settle for an Italian sub with extra pickles and extra banana peppers, no tomatoes, oil and vinegar, no mayo, and oregano._

"Hello? Earth to Jihoon?" Woojin waves a frantic hand in front of Jihoon's face, and Jihoon blinks.

"Where'd you go?" Daehwi jokes, and Jihoon rolls his eyes at both of them.

He gets up and goes to the counter, nearly saying the wrong order (Guanlin's order) twice while speaking to the cashier.

He hurries back to the table, his face red from embarrassment.

"Hyung, why is your face so red?" Daehwi questions, leaning close to peer at Jihoon curiously.

Jihoon swats him away, quickly taking a sip of his water.

"Woojin, what's Daehwi's coffee order?" Jihoon blurts out suddenly, in the middle of Daehwi's story about the cockroach Samuel found in his dorm the night before.

Woojin looks at him as if he's grown a second head — which, Jihoon muses, wouldn't be so bad, given the amount of thinking he's been doing.

"What?"

"Daehwi's coffee order," Jihoon repeats, an uneasy feeling gripping his heart.

"How would I know?" Woojin scoffs, taking a huge bite out of his sandwich.

"Daehwi? What's Woojin's sub order?" Jihoon asks, turning to the boy with wild eyes.

Daehwi pauses. "Uh, club deli?"

Woojin snorts and reaches over to punch Daehwi in the arm. "Meatball sub, you idiot."

Daehwi pouts, rubbing his sore arm. The two get into a heated argument, but Jihoon pays them no mind.

Daehwi and Woojin have been friends since...forever. Jihoon knows this because when he met them, the two were already best friends, Daehwi's bright and vibrant personality contrasting starkly with Woojin's serious and intimidating glare. At least, that's what Jihoon thought before he got to know Woojin. Now, he knows for a fact that Park Woojin is nothing more than a pain in the ass and possibly the spawn of Satan. Daehwi, on the other hand, remained his angelic self even after all these years.

The two best friends cared for each other in their own unique way, however. Daehwi was kind to everyone, but paid extra special attention to his Woojin hyung because, according to him, Woojin was shy and often misunderstood. Jihoon begged to differ, but let Daehwi be. Woojin, on the other hand, was always gruff with his affections, but more than once, Jihoon caught him watching Daehwi with a fond gaze. When questioned, Woojin would snort and tell Jihoon to get his eyes checked, but would go right back to pampering Daehwi.

If these two didn't know each other's orders...

Jihoon pulls out his phone, dialing the first number that comes to mind.

"Hello?" The voice on the other side is deep and warm, the hint of a laugh already present.

"Daniel hyung?" Jihoon asks, his voice coming out in a jarbled mess, and he realizes that his breathing is quite erratic.

Woojin stops arguing with Daehwi when he hears the name of the dance team captain. He looks at Jihoon curiously, a bit of meatball sauce stuck on his upper lip. Daehwi wipes it off for him.

"What's up, Jihoon?"

"Hyung, do...do you know how Seongwoo hyung likes his coffee?" Jihoon shuts his eyes, hoping...well, honestly, Jihoon didn't know what he was hoping for.

"Seongwoo hyung?" Daniel questions, then laughs. "That boy doesn't drink coffee. It's all about the smoothies with him. He's so picky about them too. He likes them kind of slushie but also with little ice. Weird, right?"

Jihoon's throat tightens. "Is he there with you?"

"Yeah, hold on."

Jihoon hears the phone getting passed as a few words get exchanged, but he tunes it out, too busy trying to bring his heart rate down. Why was he so nervous anyway?

"Jihoon?" Seongwoo's usual teasing voice was spiked with barely concealed curiosity.

"Hyung, what's Daniel hyung's favorite sub?" Jihoon asks without introduction, accidentally making eye contact with Woojin, who gives him the most bewildered look.

Jihoon averts his eyes.

"Grilled chicken. Something about it keeping him lean or something. And lettuce, tomato, cucumber...basically everything except olives. He hates olives." Seongwoo answers immediately, not even taking a second to think about the answer.

"Oh," Jihoon breathes out. "Oh."

"Is...is everything all right, Jihoon?" Seongwoo asks, uncertainty tainting his words.

"Yeah. Thanks hyung. Tell Daniel hyung thanks too. I'll see you guys at dance practice tomorrow?"

Jihoon hangs up before Seongwoo can reply.

"What was that about?" Daehwi asks immediately, his perceptive eyes even more piercing than usual.

Jihoon glances at his friends, before quickly looking away.

"Ohhhh," Woojin drawls out, leaning back into his chair as he fixes an amused gaze on Jihoon.

"What, what, what?" Daehwi questions incessantly, shaking Woojin's arm in an attempt to get the other to tell him.

"Yeah, what?" Jihoon asks as well, his eyes narrowed at his friend.

"I bet I know what—I mean, who—this is about," Woojin smirks, his snaggletooth gleaming in the sunlight, and Jihoon has a nagging feeling that he's probably right.

"Bet you don't," he still retorts back, all bluff as he fiddles with the end of his shirt underneath the table.

Woojin ignores Daehwi's whines and keeps his eyes on Jihoon, who stares right back at him.

Jihoon looks away first.

"I'm going to get my sandwich," he says in excuse, pushing back his chair and heading to the counter.

He hopes his friends don't notice his shaking hands as he grabs the plate.

Thankfully, when he returns to the table, Woojin and Daehwi are engaged in yet another one of their fights (Jihoon distinctly hears Daehwi protesting that "Youngmin hyung and Donghyun hyung love me more than they love you!"). Jihoon sits down, and for once, doesn't try to get the duo to shut up, glad that the crisis was averted.

"So how's Guanlin doing?" Daehwi asks innocently, turning to Jihoon casually.

Jihoon chokes on his sub as Woojin howls with laughter.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon decides to stay on campus after lunch. Not to avoid Guanlin or anything of the sort, he tells himself, but to get work done.

The walk from the deli shop to the library is a short one so Jihoon walks slowly, wanting to collect his thoughts.

He wonders when he started noticing every little detail about Guanlin. And then he wonders when he had unconsciously memorized every one of those little details.

Like the fact that Guanlin brushes his teeth in an up and down motion instead of a circular one.

(Jihoon had told him the circular motion was more effective, but Guanlin had pouted and said that was the way he had brushed his teeth since young and he couldn't reverse an ingrained habit. And who was Jihoon to resist that pout?)

Like the fact that Guanlin always took off the mushrooms off the pizza.

(Jihoon had proposed for them to stop ordering mushroom pizza, but Guanlin had only shook his head and said that it was okay because _Jihoon hyung likes them_. So now, any time they order pizza, Guanlin takes the mushroom off and passes them to Jihoon, who gobbles them up happily.)

Like the fact that Guanlin likes to cover his mouth with his large hand when he laughs.

(Jihoon had pointed the habit out to him and Guanlin had acknowledged it, telling Jihoon that it was because he had insecurities about his mouth showing too much when he laughed. Jihoon had assured him he looked fine—more than fine—when he laughed. Actually, to Jihoon, Guanlin looked the best when he laughed.)

And then there are the things that Guanlin never mentioned out loud, that Jihoon learns because of all the time he spends thinking about and observing Guanlin.

Like the fact that Guanlin gets slightly anxious any time they have to go on an escalator.

(Jihoon had noticed the first time they went on the subway. Although he didn't say anything, Guanlin's hands were clenched tight the moment they entered the station. He'd given Jihoon a tight-lipped smile when he asked if he was all right. Jihoon was right behind Guanlin when he heard him take three quick breaths before stepping onto the moving stairs. His hand didn't leave the banister and Jihoon isn't sure if he heard a single breath the entire time they were on the escalator. The relief was evident when they hopped off, Guanlin first, followed by Jihoon. Now, Jihoon makes sure he is always besides the boy when they go on the subway or to the mall. Sometimes he slips his hand in Guanlin's, just for extra comfort.)

Like the fact that Guanlin can't sleep soundly unless there's a blanket covering his stomach.

(Jihoon had found out when they camped out in their living room the first weekend they moved in together, armed with a half dozen movies, ready to pull an all nighter to watch them and to celebrate their move. Guanlin had fallen asleep some time during the third movie, sprawled on the longer couch, while Jihoon sat huddled in a blanket in the smaller one. Jihoon's attention shifted from the screen to the boy beside him when he saw, out of the corner of his eye, Guanlin flinch in his sleep. Then again. Jihoon slipped off the couch he was on and hurried to the other boy's side. The tossing and turning continued for a few minutes while Jihoon contemplated whether he should wake him up or not. He eventually decided to grab the blanket he had been using and cover most of Guanlin's body with it. Only then did Guanlin still, his face relaxing into a peaceful expression. Jihoon spent the remainder of the movie watching Guanlin.)

Like the fact that Guanlin's forehead crinkles and his eyebrows furrow when he is confused or frustrated.

(Jihoon had noticed when the two of them spent an afternoon in the library, cramming for their respective exams. Even back then, Jihoon couldn't sit still in those wooden chairs for long and often got distracted — by Guanlin, of course. Jihoon watched as Guanlin read a passage in his accounting book once, twice, three times, each time growing more and more frustrated. He watched as the usually smooth forehead crinkled into fine lines, an obvious sign of his distress. He watched as the thick and perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed into a zigzagged line. Unable to stop himself, he reached over and touched the space between Guanlin's eyebrows, where a crease had started to form. When Guanlin looked up in surprise, Jihoon murmured that he would get wrinkles early if he kept scowling like that.)

Like the fact that Guanlin's eyes shone whenever he talked about Taiwan.

(Jihoon had learned this when, one late night, the two found themselves up in the living room talking about hometowns. Guanlin described the beautiful countryside with roaming animals and growing flowers, the busy city life that seemed to be alive at all hours of the day, the amazing food that the vendors at the corner of the street sold for cheaper than anywhere else, and, most of all, his loving family. Jihoon watched as Guanlin's eyes shone, brighter than the stars in the sky that night. He made Guanlin promise to bring him to and show him around Taiwan one day.)

Jihoon snaps out of his reminiscing when he realizes that, unknowingly, he has already walked a good two blocks past the library. He sighs, turning on his heels and trudging back the way he came.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon finds a quiet corner in the library, sighing in relief as he drops his backpack into an empty chair. He sits on—falls into might be the more accurate word—another chair, and groans when his bottom hits hard wood. He'd forgotten how uncomfortable the library seats were. No wonder he could only study for a few hours there. But it would have to suffice for Jihoon to get some work done...and, more importantly, to get his mind off of things.

"Jihoonie?"

Jihoon lifts his head from his arms, where he'd let it fall just a few minutes ago. He looks around, finally settling his eyes on a familiar handsome face.

"Hi Minhyun hyung," Jihoon greets tiredly.

He's not surprised to see Minhyun at the library. Hwang Minhyun, straight A student and all around perfect guy, practically lived there. He tells everyone that he's studying, but Jihoon thinks he coops up in the gloomy library to avoid having to buy Seonho food five times a day. And Jihoon can't blame the guy — Seonho could practically inhale food through his nose.

"Where's Guanlin?" Minhyun asks as a follow-up, as if it's the most natural thing in the world. As if Jihoon couldn't be somewhere without Guanlin.

Jihoon groans.

"You don't sound too cheery," Minhyun observes, hesitating in front of Jihoon's table before the younger nods, silently inviting his friend to sit with him.

"Sorry hyung. Just a little bit tired I guess," Jihoon answers, offering his concerned hyung a weak smile.

"What's bothering you?" Minhyun asks, sitting down and making himself comfortable. He takes out a few folders and notebooks, each color coded to match a certain subject. Jihoon smiles at the sight. Hwang Minhyun indeed.

Before Jihoon can answer Minhyun's question, another familiar head pops up behind the old and dusty history books.

"Hey guys," Jaehwan says, setting his books down without an invite. Not that Jihoon nor Minhyun minded; they were used to Jaehwan's antics by now.

Unlike Minhyun's, Kim Jaehwan's presence in the library, Jihoon had come to learn, should always be questioned. Although he tells everyone that Sewoon is too loud in their apartment (Jihoon calls complete bull on that) so he has to go to the library to concentrate, Jihoon thinks it has more to do with a personal agenda and self-appointed mission called Annoy Hwang Minhyun.

"Jihoonie here is feeling a little down," Minhyun informs Jaehwan, cringing a bit when he sees Jaehwan's messy backpack with sheets of paper strewn everywhere.

"Oh yeah?" Jaehwan looks at Jihoon with a glint in his eye, and Jihoon immediately wants to smack the look off his face, seniority be damned.

"Where's Guanlin?" Jaehwan asks casually, a smirk already rising up on his stealthy lips.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that!" Jihoon hisses, mindful of their quiet surroundings, yet still wanting to express his annoyance.

Jaehwan's smirk widens and he sits back, satisfied at having riled Jihoon up.

Jihoon groans, dropping his head down to the table with a loud bang. He could almost hear Minhyun's shudder at the sound.

"Am I missing something?" Jihoon hears Minhyun ask, but he keeps quiet, choosing to wallow in his despair.

He only looks up when Jaehwan lets out his infamous psychotic laugh. Jihoon gives him the best glare he can muster, but that only makes Jaehwan laugh harder.

"Remind me to kill Park Woojin the next time I see him," Jihoon seethes through clenched teeth.

"What's going on?" Minhyun demands, slapping a hand over Jaehwan's mouth in an effort to shut him up. It doesn't work, but Jihoon commends Minhyun for trying.

"I don't know," Jihoon grunts, pushing his books away. There was no use in trying to study with Minhyun and Jaehwan (read: Jaehwan) there anyways.

"Jihoonie here, is catching feelings," Jaehwan whispers loudly to Minhyun behind a hand, eyes narrowed as if they were sharing some conspiracy plan.

Jihoon immediately rolls his eyes. "Am not!"

Jaehwan ignores him. "And he thinks the best way to solve this problem is by avoidance."

"I do not!" Jihoon exclaims indignantly.

"Feelings, huh," Minhyun repeats, observant eyes trained on Jihoon as understanding settled in them.

Jihoon can't find it in him to deny it, so he just groans again.

Minhyun pats him on the shoulder and shoots Jaehwan a beedy stare when the latter looks like he is about to dissolve into another round of giggles. This time, it effectively shuts Jaehwan up.

Minhyun doesn't ask anything other than a soft "what are you going to do?" and Jihoon thinks Hwang Minhyun must be an angel. He thanks every deity he can think of for his existence and his presence in Jihoon's life.

"I don't know, hyung, I don't know."

 

* * *

 

Jihoon enters the apartment just a little after 2AM. He shuts the door softly, knowing that Guanlin was most likely passed out. He lets out a small groan of relief when he slides the backpack off his back and onto the floor. Rubbing his sore behind (he would have to send in an anonymous tip to replace those horrid library chairs) and wincing, he drags the backpack into the dark living room. He's about to flip on the light switch when his eyes catch sight of a figure on the couch.

"Guanlin?" He whispers, freezing, as he squints to make out the body.

No response.

Jihoon creeps a little closer and sees that the boy is knocked out cold, long limbs sprawled across the entire couch and hidden under a blanket, his face pressed into the soft leather fabric.

Jihoon sighs, taking a seat on the hardwood floor in front of the couch so that he is only a few feet away from Guanlin's peaceful face.

Jihoon brings his knees to his chest, resting his chin on them as he silently observes the sleeping boy.

Guanlin looks beautiful to Jihoon all the time, but he looks especially beautiful bathed in moonlight, the worry lines that sometimes appear on his forehead replaced by a relaxed expression that only shows up in his dreams. Sleeping Guanlin looks like a carefree young boy, and Jihoon's heart clenches at the sight.

Jihoon finds himself less confused in the wee hours of the day, surrounded by nothing but darkness and silence, save for Guanlin's soft breathing.

He scoots closer to the sleeping boy until he is so near that if he breathed, he would be able to sway Guanlin's fringe. The darkness, or the quietness, or perhaps sheer exhaustion, or all of the above, must boost Jihoon's confidence because he tries it, and smiles when he sees the hair flutter softly against Guanlin's forehead.

Jihoon reaches a hand out (to move the hair out of Guanlin's closed eyes? To stroke those rosy, puffed out cheeks? To graze his fingers against those soft, inviting lips?), inching closer—

Guanlin stirs a little, and Jihoon jumps back, already on his feet. He turns away, heart pounding.

"Jihoon hyung?"

Jihoon grimaces, his facial expression hidden in the darkness. "Hey, did I wake you?"

Jihoon turns to look at Guanlin, and he feels his heart involuntarily clench in fondness again. Guanlin had sat up and was rubbing his eyes with a fist, yawning like the big baby he was.

"Ah, I must have fallen asleep waiting for you," Guanlin murmurs, his speech a little slurred from sleep.

Jihoon clenches his fists together, even as his eyes soften. "Stupid, why would you wait up for me? You might catch a cold out here."

Guanlin gives Jihoon a beautiful sleepy smile that radiates even more than usual in the darkness. "I wanted to, hyung. I haven't seen you all day."

Jihoon turns away. But not before he sees the smile falter a little on Guanlin's lips and the hurt settle in his eyes.

"Go back to your room to sleep, Guanlin."

Jihoon takes a few steps.

"Hyung?"

Jihoon pauses at the entrance of his room, a hand already on the doorknob. He grips it tightly, seeking any sort of contact to ground him in place. "What?"

"Good night," Guanlin says softly.

Jihoon hates himself.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon isn't sure how he winds up in front of Sungwoon's and Jisung's shared apartment the next morning. Especially considering that Jisung had the tendency to nag like a mom and that Sungwoon had the tendency to hover like a grandma. And nagging and hovering were definitely not what Jihoon needed at the moment.

He's also not sure how he came to befriend the two, considering they were a good bit older than him. However, here he was, standing in front of their door at 10AM because he knew Guanlin would have left for his humanities class fifteen minutes before.

Jihoon hesitates for only a moment before knocking softly.

"Coming!" Jisung's cheery voice calls out.

A second later, a familiar smile appears in front of Jihoon. "Jihoonie!"

Jihoon eyes Jisung's flowery apron and the whisk in his hand. "Er, hi mom?"

Jisung laughs good-naturedly, quickly ushering Jihoon in. "Yell for Sungwoon, will you? He's grumbling about the mess in the kitchen, even though I told him I'll clean it up after I was done!"

"Sungwoon hyung!" Jihoon calls out, as Jisung disappears back into the kitchen, whistling happily.

Jihoon wonders how anyone can be that joyful all the time.

"Jihoon?" Sungwoon comes bounding out into the living room, and Jihoon can't help but smile when he sees his tiny hyung. Although a few years older than him, Sungwoon was a good bit shorter than Jihoon, which Jihoon took great pride in considering he wasn't that tall himself (at least compared to a certain giant...a certain giant who was giving Jihoon quite a number of problems these days).

"Hey Sungwoon hyung," Jihoon greets. "What's Jisung hyung doing in the kitchen?"

Sungwoon scowls. "Who even knows? He said he wanted a cake or something, and got this grand idea to bake one himself! Even when I so generously offered to go and buy one for him! He's probably going to ruin the entire kitchen!"

Jihoon grins, suppressing a laugh because although small, Sungwoon could work up a storm. Jihoon was just glad he had never been on the receiving end of Ha Sungwoon's wrath. Because knowing him, he would probably start laughing, which would only anger Sungwoon more.

"Hold on, let me go make sure he's not throwing flour all over the walls," Sungwoon mutters, patting Jihoon's shoulder as he steps around him to join his roommate in the kitchen.

Jihoon makes himself comfortable on the couch, eyeing his two friends as they argued with each other. It was always entertaining when Sungwoon and Jisung fought because Sungwoon would stand on tip toes to try to reach Jisung's height and shout with all his might, while Jisung would make the most animated and exaggerated facial expressions in response to everything.

It was a wonder the two were friends, let alone roommates, at all. Jisung had been an acting major in school, and although hasn't made it into any hot shot movies yet, is content taking on small roles here and there. Sungwoon had been a vocal major, a year below Jisung, his small frame not at all a representation of his honey sweet voice that could enrapture an entire concert hall. The two became fast friends when the arts department conducted a department wide talent show and they quickly found that they had a similar talent in being able to talk anyone's ear off, except each other's. It was only natural for the two to move in together even after graduation.

"Sorry about that," Sungwoon says as he makes his way back to Jihoon. "I told Jisung hyung to get his flowery bottom over here or else I'll throw away his cake, so he should be out here in a bit."

"It's okay," Jihoon quickly says, embarrassed that he'd shown up unannounced. "Sorry for intruding."

Sungwoon waves his apology aside. "What are you talking about? You know you're always welcome here. You should visit more, especially when Taehyun's around. He misses you."

Jihoon smiles, comforted, as Jisung appears in the doorway, flower apron off but smile still intact as ever.

"So, Jihoon, how are you?" Jisung asks, flopping down onto the couch Jihoon had made himself comfortable on, so that they were face to face.  
Sungwoon takes a seat on a bar stool a couple of feet away.

They catch up for an hour. If there's one thing that Jisung likes more than immersing himself in a role and that Sungwoon likes more than singing his heart out, it's talking. Gossiping was their favorite pasttime, and Jihoon often found himself engaged in their different conversations. Today, however, he doesn't mind, thankful for the distraction.

When the conversation finally dies down, Jihoon sees Sungwoon and Jisung pass a questioning look between themselves.

"So..." Sungwoon starts, peering at Jihoon.

"I..." Jihoon struggles for words as he looks down at his fingers in his lap.

"What's going on, Jihoon?" Jisung asks kindly, his voice warm and gentle.

"Hyung, is love...how do you know when you...like someone?" Jihoon asks, voice small and unsure.

Jihoon finally lifts his eyes to meet Jisung's, and he sees them soften at his words. He glances at Sungwoon, and he notices the same affectionate gaze. Jihoon realizes this is why he showed up unexpectedly at Jisung's and Sungwoon's apartment. Although goofy and loud, Jisung and Sungwoon always welcomed him and lent an ear to listen to Jihoon's, and whoever else's, various problems. It also helps that they were older, more experienced, and wiser (well...debatable on that last one).

"I'm not sure we're the best people to ask when it comes to love," Jisung says, laughing as he scoots closer to Jihoon on the couch, putting an arm around his shoulders and cuddling him closer. Jihoon usually hates being taken care of and treated like a child, but today, he only snuggles closer to Jisung's protective body.

"I think love is just being happy with someone. Someone who makes you laugh and cry, someone who makes you feel warm and safe, just someone who makes you happy, you know?" Sungwoon says, twirling his body on the bar stool, his feet dangling in the air because of his short legs. The sight makes both Jihoon and Jisung smile.

"I agree. Someone that's comfortable...someone you don't have to try hard with, who accepts you the way you are. Someone who feels like home," Jisung adds, softly petting Jihoon's hair.

"Oh," Jihoon says intelligibly, playing with the end of his shirt again.

"Is that how Guanlin makes you feel?"

Jihoon's head snaps up in surprise to stare at Sungwoon. "Wh—what?"

Sungwoon's gaze is still soft, a knowing smile lighting his face. Turning to Jisung, Jihoon sees that he shares a similar expression.

Jihoon closes his eyes, letting his head fall back down.

"Maybe."

 

* * *

 

After almost another hour, Jihoon is finally able to convince Jisung and Sungwoon that he's going to be okay, and they see him off like a concerned mother and grandmother. He waves to them until he rounds the street, and then lets his hand (and his smile) drop.

Sungwoon and Jisung live off campus, so they are a good half hour's walk away from where Jihoon's apartment is. After two hours of socializing and talking, however, some alone time doesn't sound too bad to Jihoon, so he opts to walk past the bus stop.

It's a beautiful day, and Jihoon takes a deep breath of fresh air as he walks along the sidewalk. It's chilly, but Jihoon appreciates the slight breeze on his still rosy cheeks.

He can't fully enjoy the weather, however, because his mind is preoccupied with other thoughts.

All of a certain tall, handsome, caring foreigner by the name of Lai Guanlin.

Jihoon wonders when he started to fall for Guanlin.

Maybe it was the time, a month after they met at freshman convocation where Jihoon had been Guanlin's orientation leader, when they were walking back to the dorms from the library on a freezing February night. They had been studying with Daehwi and Jinyoung, but by 2AM, both were burnt out. Not Daehwi nor Jinyoung though. Daehwi was hyperactive as always, while Jinyoung was chugging down coffee like he had an endless supply—which, Jihoon mused, he kind of did. Guanlin and Jihoon decided to call it a night, and they packed their bags to head back to the dorms. They hadn't been roommates then—Guanlin lived with Daehwi, while Jihoon lived with Woojin—but both lived in university housing so they decided to walk together. It was the first time they spent time just the two of them, and an awkward silence settled between them as Jihoon kicked at the snow beneath his feet, his socks inside his boots already wet. Jihoon peeked at Guanlin, who remained stoic as ever, his lips especially red in contrast to the falling white snow. Guanlin met his shy eyes and offered a smile. Jihoon returned one. Without a word, Guanlin reached up and took off the scarf encircling his neck, handing it to Jihoon. Jihoon looked up in surprise, but Guanlin's eyes were soft and warm, even in the cold night, and Jihoon took the scarf with a quiet thanks and a soft blush on his cheeks.

Maybe it was the time, after dance practice, when Jihoon stood at the entrance of the building, staring at the pouring rain in disbelief. Woojin and Hyungseob had dashed off without cover, laughing as they ran off together, not caring that they were completely soaked by the time they took ten steps. Jihoon scoffed at them. No way he would risk getting sick two days before a major dance competition. He'd tell Woojin and Hyungseob the same, however, Woojin once performed flawlessly even with shingles, so Jihoon knew the warning wasn't needed. And Hyungseob...well, Hyungseob did whatever Woojin did. Jihoon, however, decided he would stay in the comfort of the practice room and wait it out. He watched as the two captains, huddled together, their arms above their heads as they held up a jacket, ran out into the rain as well. Jihoon was going to kill someone if his entire team fell sick. He sighed as he listened to the pitter patter of the rain against asphalt. Suddenly, he made out a lone figure with an umbrella hurrying towards him. He squinted his eyes and widened them when he recognized the tall, lanky figure. _Guanlin_ , he murmured. When he reached Jihoon, Guanlin offered that signature smile of his, and Jihoon forgot to ask why he came. Instead, he pressed up against Guanlin's warm body, hyper aware of Guanlin's arm around his waist to bring him closer, fitting both of them under the bright yellow umbrella. Jihoon looked up at Guanlin and when their eyes met, he felt a familiar blush creep up onto his face.

Maybe it was the time Jihoon had heard a familiar call of his name and turned towards it, before he felt the world turn upside down and he collapsed on campus amidst the screams of a few people around him. He barely registered himself falling, his knees buckling under him as he crashed onto the hard concrete. A second later, he was being cradled in warm arms, and he recognized Guanlin's worried eyes when he looked up. _I've got you_ , he heard Guanlin murmur, even as the boy struggled to catch his breath. Guanlin brought one hand to rest on Jihoon's back and tucked the other beneath Jihoon's legs, easily lifting him up bridal style. Jihoon whined in protest, but Guanlin shushed him, long legs striding forward briskly. Although lanky, Guanlin was surprisingly strong. Jihoon found comfort in Guanlin's arms, and although he didn't want to, he found himself snuggling closer into Guanlin's embrace, his arms naturally making their way around Guanlin's neck for balance. Jihoon reached out a trembling hand to wipe a lone bead of sweat trickling down Guanlin's temple. _You're sweating_ , he heard his voice whisper. Guanlin looked down at him, the concern in his eyes still blazing. _I've got you_ , Guanlin repeated, tightening his hold on Jihoon, and Jihoon ducked his face into Guanlin's shoulder blade to hide his red cheeks.

Maybe it was the time when Jihoon was helping Guanlin with his Korean homework in their apartment, both of them sprawled on the floor of the living room, with papers and snacks littered everywhere around them. Jihoon was in the middle of trying to think of a way to explain an especially complicated Korean proverb, one that even he had to look up to understand. He glanced over at Guanlin, who was supposed to be looking up the meanings of other proverbs and writing them down, but who had instead fallen asleep over his Korean textbook. Jihoon's gaze softened as he watched the sleeping boy, his body unconsciously going closer, fingers automatically reaching out to fix a few strands of loose hair. Guanlin often had an innocent and pure aura around him, probably attributed to his gummy smile and high-pitched laughter, but he looked especially young while sleeping. Guanlin stirred, and Jihoon retracted his hand but couldn't bring himself to look away. Guanlin's eyes fluttered open, bright and wide, as his gaze met Jihoon's. Guanlin giggled sheepishly before asking _when did you get so close to me Jihoon hyung?_ But before Jihoon could leave, Guanlin's hand was on his arm, this time asking _where are you going Jihoon hyung? I like you besides me_. Jihoon buried his face in Guanlin's textbook, unable to meet the younger's eyes and unwilling to let him see his flaming cheeks.

Jihoon stops abruptly as he comes to the realization that maybe he's always liked Guanlin.

And suddenly, the half hour walk from Jisung's and Sungwoon's apartment to his and Guanlin's seemed too far, too long.

So he starts to run.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon bursts into the apartment a record fifteen minutes later, his breathing irregular and coming in short little gasps.

Guanlin is sitting on the couch, stacks of papers around him, but he jumps up in alarm when Jihoon barges in. Guanlin strides towards him, reaching him in five long steps, whereas it would have taken Jihoon at least ten. Guanlin's hands are roaming over his body, eyes wide as he asks if Jihoon's okay, if he's hurt, but Jihoon can't answer because _Lai Guanlin is possibly the most beautiful person he has ever laid eyes on_ and he still can't breathe properly so he just nods.

When Guanlin is positive that Jihoon is unharmed, he steers Jihoon to the couch, plopping him down onto the soft leather seat as he goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"Did you know Woojin—baby Woojin, that is—is considering applying here? I told him he could contact either one of us for more information. Oh, and I checked out the club Kenta hyung and Yongguk hyung are starting! You know who else is in it? There's Jung Jung hyung and Justin! I also caught Seonho at the meeting but they kicked him out because he was only there for the free food. And I also heard that—"

Jihoon listens as Guanlin rambles on about anything and everything. It's endearing, but Jihoon can't concentrate on anything the younger is telling him.

Guanlin comes back and hands Jihoon the glass before he takes a seat beside him. "—and Sewoon hyung started dancing in the middle of nowhere, which was so weird, but also really cute, you know? I think Haknyeon hyung got it on camera so I'll have to ask him for—"

"I like you," Jihoon blurts out.

Silence.

Jihoon stares at his fingers in his lap, feeling the heat creep up on his face, his neck, his whole body. He wasn't supposed to confess like that. It was supposed to be slow and emotional and touching and well-versed. It certainly was not supposed to be an interruption to whatever Guanlin was saying and Jihoon really hated himself for—

Guanlin is laughing.

Jihoon's heart slams against his ribcage.

Why is Guanlin laughing?

Jihoon dares to take a peek at Guanlin, and he sees that it's one of those rare laughs where Guanlin doesn't cover up his mouth, where his eyes crinkle up into half moons, and he allows himself to let loose. Jihoon's lips unconsciously curl up.

Now, Jihoon does not watch many romantic comedies. He doesn't do the whole romance thing. But he is pretty sure that Guanlin is not supposed to laugh in a situation like this. Not when Jihoon has basically been ignoring him for two days. Not when his best friend just confessed to him out of the blue.

But here he is, sitting on their couch, a foot away from Jihoon, laughing heartily, and all Jihoon can think is _Guanlin is so, so beautiful_ and it is so unfair.

"I know," is all Guanlin says when he catches his breath, but it's enough to send Jihoon's mind reeling in so many different directions that his brain just completely shuts down all thinking.

"You—what?"

"I know," Guanlin repeats, a blindingly dazzling smile gracing his lips as he watches Jihoon struggle for words.

"But..how did you...when I didn't even—"

Guanlin moves closer and Jihoon can't lift his eyes out of his lap to look at him. It isn't until Guanlin's hand reaches for his, grasping it firmly, that Jihoon looks up.

Guanlin's eyes are shining, as clear as a summer night with stars twinkling in the sky. Jihoon finds himself immersed in those bright eyes.

Jihoon feels a squeeze of his hand that brings him back to the present.

Guanlin is close, too close. Jihoon can see the cracks in Guanlin's lips, the small mole on the tip of his nose, the sparkle in his eye—

"I like you too, Jihoon hyung."

Jihoon stops breathing.

"Wh—what?"

Guanlin lets out another tinkling laugh as he puts an arm around Jihoon, pulling him flush against him, almost on top of him.

"I like you," Guanlin whispers in Jihoon's ear, enunciating carefully, and Jihoon shivers at the words and the sensation.

Jihoon's heart is about to burst out of his chest, and he needs to know if Guanlin's is too, so he climbs onto Guanlin's lap and puts his ear against Guanlin's chest, where a steady and strong heartbeat sound greets him.

Jihoon pulls away, meeting Guanlin's amused smile.

"It's—it's not fair. How are you so calm right now? God, Guanlin, I feel like my heart is literally about to combust right now and you're sitting here, all beautiful and shining and dazzling, acting like everything is fine, like I didn't just—"

Guanlin leans forward just a bit, and Jihoon feels a light peck on his lips. It's gone as soon as it was there, and Jihoon blinks in surprise.

"What—"

Another peck.

"Guanlin—"

And another.

Jihoon's the one laughing now, his face flushed red as he giggles nervously. He brings his hands up to his face to hide behind, but Guanlin traps them in his, lacing their fingers together, and Jihoon marvels at how perfect of a fit they are.

"Wait, Guanlin—"

This time, Guanlin peppers kisses all over Jihoon's face, starting from his forehead, to his cheeks, to his nose, and finally hovering over his lips.

"I—"

Jihoon doesn't get to finish, because suddenly Guanlin presses his lips to Jihoon's, and this time, he doesn't pull away. The kiss is sweet, Guanlin's chapped lips surprisingly soft as they press against Jihoon's. Jihoon's eyes flutter shut and he sighs into the kiss, his hands untangling themselves from Guanlin's as they make their way around Guanlin's neck to instead tangle in the boy's hair.

When Guanlin pulls away, Jihoon lets out a breathy whine, his face still flushed and his hands still knotted in Guanlin's hair. Guanlin giggles, a delightful sound to Jihoon's ear, and Jihoon nuzzles his head into Guanlin's neck.

"Guanlin?"

"Mmhm," Guanlin murmurs, and Jihoon can feel the vibration of the sound against his cheek. It feels nice.

"Can we do this more often now?"

Guanlin laughs, his arms tightening around Jihoon's waist to tug him even closer.

"Of course, hyung."

Jihoon sighs, content, as he snuggles into Guanlin's warm and famliar embrace.

He thinks that it is perfectly normal for him to know Guanlin's coffee order and to notice little things like the crinkle of concentration on Guanlin's forehead.

He thinks that Guanlin probably knows all the little things about him, too. The thought makes him smile.

He thinks that they have forever and longer to learn every single detail about each other.

So he smiles, wraps his arms tighter around Guanlin, and presses a feather soft kiss against the base of Guanlin's neck, enjoying the moment together.

**Author's Note:**

> Confession: I've never written anything over 3K so this was a journey lol. Hope it came out all right? Please let me know if you enjoyed it! 
> 
> Spread the Panwink love!


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